"A big steaming pile of NOT FUNNY."

- Lizz Winstead, Air America founder, former Daily Show producer

Half of Nation Pauses to Mock What Other Half Is Pausing Over

 



by Jonathan Lakeman, DP Editor-in-Chief

Tuesday, September 11th, 2012

(NEW YORK) “Yeah, it’s 9/11, a horrible day, blah blah… But it’s been, like, eleven years people, it’s time to move on,” proclaimed MSNBC’s Chris Hayes, on the forward-leaning network’s Morning Joe show.   Hayes, host of his own show on MSNBC, Up W/ Chris Hayes¸ was a guest on the morning show Tuesday when he made the comments.

     Seemingly stunned by Hayes’ proclamation, Morning Joe’s main host, former Rep. Joe Scarborough (R-FL), suggested Hayes was being a “bit insensitive.”   Replied Scarborough, “It’s not like we have to relive this event every day, Chris, but when the anniversary comes it’s only right and natural to stop and remember it, how it impacted our lives.”

     However Hayes’ overtly intuitive assessment of the 11th anniversary of terrorist attacks of September 11th, 2001, is hardly uncommon for nation’s growing armies of hipper, younger, more educated, progressive urban professionals, who simply find taking a day to recall the worst day in U.S. civilian history “just not cool” anymore. 

     “We go through this every September and it’s really getting old and on our nerves,” said Buffy McPherson-McIntyre-Hamilton, a New York systems analyst and Brooklyn native who watched the horrific scene unfold 11 years ago in lower Manhattan from the windows of Brooklyn’s Freedom Academy High School.  Now McPherson-McIntyre-Hamilton, 25, says 9/11 anniversaries are just an excuse for “Americans to play country music and reconfirm their bigotry.”

     Joy Behar, co-host of ABC’s The View commented to reporters backstage before the second recording of her new show Tuesday, Joy Behar: Say Anything! (a show about saying anything, as long as it’s one type of thing) for the Current TV network, “I guess we’ll have to mention it’s 9/11 tonight and how it affected us and (expletive).”  

     Added Behar, rolling her eyes, “We just had a mass killing last month at a Sikh temple by a racist nut, thinking they were Muslims. How many more hate-inspired killings do we (in the media) have to keep motivating by bringing up those minor ‘man-made disasters’ in New York and Washington in 2001?”

    A Pew Research Center poll conducted last week found that of 1,200 self-described “politically forward-leaning” professionals between ages 30 to 42, only 48% believed all Americans should still come together each anniversary and share in the memories, pain, and lessons of September 11th, 2001, while a striking 50% responded, “No.  Only stupid, uneducated Republican Jesus freaks still care about 9/11.” The remaining two-percent did not know what “9/11” was.    

     Speaking on behalf of a generation, Brooklyn resident and comedian Baratunde Thurston,(coincidentally born September 11th), the former Director of Digital for The Onion, the nation’s largest satirical news site (with never any shred of political agenda), took to Twitter Tuesday morning and posted at 9:51 AM:  “Yeah, time to get all wee-weed up about #9/11 again, an anniversary always so unexpected, right?” … follow by:

(10:05 AM): “No time to dwell on #9/11. Younger folks have a world to rui…run”

(10:10 AM): “News keeps mentioning #9/11 anni. #GetOverIt.  like, what-ev-aaaa!”

(11:17 AM): “(yawn!) Ppl die evryday (sic) in world, why was #911 any different?”

(11:30 AM): “remembering #9/11 by pretending America is perfect”

(1:08 PM): “marking 11th anni of #9/11 via downloading Hank Williams Jr. songs, calling #Obama a socialist and stomping god-dang MUZZIES!”

     Peering out his office window in Arlington, VA, at the memorial service being held in front of the western wall of the Pentagon, where hijacked American Airlines Flight 77 crashed eleven years ago, accountant Crofton Devoureaux, 39, just shook his head as wreaths were laid and hymns were played.  “Great, another yearly re-enforcement of jingoistic nationalism…How much longer do ‘normal’ Americans have to endure these annual eruptions of subliminal bigotry disguised as ‘mourning.’”

     According to Devoureaux, as the nation progresses, both politically and chronologically away from 9/11/01, there is becoming an increasingly distinct divide between people who only want to mark each September 11th as a means towards more “regressive” cultural attitudes and political objectives, and not the celebration of Go To Meeting (the leading global on-line business meeting software, rendering air travel less necessary, thereby reducing chances for air terrorism) it should be.

   Continued Devoureaux, staring out his office window across Arlington's Rt. 395, “Osama’s dead, it’s been 11 years…will people ever find something else to remember or do on September 11th?  God!”

     Pausing for a moment of stinging self-realization, Devoureaux apologized, “Oh crap, I said ‘God.’  Sorry!”


 

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